N. Sri Ram - The Way of Wisdom, p. 63-67 (comments on Light on the Path)
Kill out Ambition
More N. Sri RamN. Sri Ram
'Kill out ambition' (I.1). Ambition is a
primary evil, but it is usually considered a very good quality by the
world. The ambitious
man is envied by others, and even his superiors think well of him
because
he puts forth the necessary effort in order to gain the promotion he
covets.
But from the occult point of view, ambition is destructive and must be
rooted
out. It makes a person insensitive to the feelings, the needs, and the
welfare
of others. His whole attention is fixed upon the object which he wants
to
reach, and that very concentration excludes everything else from his
attention,
even the suffering caused to others in the furtherance of his ambition.
Although we realize the nature of this evil when we see it in an
exaggerated form, we fail to recognize it in ourselves. But it is true
that the faults we notice in others are likely to be present, at least
in germ, in ourselves. We are not concerned with the destruction of
popular idols - the different things that people worship - but with our
own private idols that we worship secretly within our hearts.
Light on the Path speaks of ambition as 'the first curse',
and warns that it assumes subtle forms on the occult path. We may think
that
we have destroyed ambition in ourselves but it can reappear with a
changed
aspect. For we may be ambitious for various things on the Path itself.
We
may not care for the praise of the 'common herd' dismissing it as not
worth
having. But it is quite possible to be conceited in a subtle way;
although
we may seem not to be concerned with the appreciation of others we can
still
be rooted in self-love and vanity, very much aware of our own supposed
abilities
and worth on the spiritual path.
Or we may want to be ahead of others who are devoted to the same
Master,
to feel that in some way we have taken an occult step which they have
not
taken. Even if others do not know that we have taken it, the fact that
we
think we have is sufficient; we feel superior and self-satisfied. This
can
be so subtle that unless we pay close attention to our thoughts,
feelings
and motives, it is impossible to avoid it. We can go on meditating on
the
virtue of humility that we think we want to possess, and at the same
time
be full of this egoism which is so deeply rooted in all of us.
The comment on ambition says:
Its results turn to dust and ashes in the mouth; like death and estrangement it shows the man al last that to work for self is to work for disappointment.
No ambitious person is ever really happy because what he wants is in
the
future and so there is always a sense of something lacking in the
present.
And, when at last he arrives at his goal, it does not satisfy, and he
is
disappointed and frustrated. 'Distance lends enchantment to the view'
and
when we actually arrive on the scene we find that the grass is not so
green
as we thought it would be. Satisfaction ceases and then we want
something
else. Finally all our ambitions turn sour, for 'to work for self is to
work
for disappointment'. It is very important that we should realize this,
for
in so many things we do there is the self seeking for adulation, praise
and
advancement.
Thus the comment says: 'But though this first rule seems so simple and
easy,
do not quickly pass it by.' We may think that we are free from ambition
but
it is very difficult to be so. This working for self is really a
product
of our attachments, and these attachments can be to things at different
levels
- physical, astral, mental. We can thus be attached to a person, to our
possessions,
or to our ideas. Whatever the nature of the attachment, its centre is
the
self, and to work for the self is to be discontented because its very
nature
is to seek for more.
A pure artist who loves his work just likes doing it, and does it. But
very
rarely do we come across such a one. Many artists are highly
self-involved,
intolerant and jealous of others who are of the same eminence. Of
course,
there are artists who paint or compose disinterestedly and not to the
glory
of the self and its components. But we can deceive ourselves into
believing
that we are doing everything to the glory of God with the implication
that
whatever we do has his approval; or we might think that we do it in the
name
of the Master, thus rubber-stamping our actions with his name. The mind
can
deceive itself to an extraordinary extent. We must be aware of all
these
subtleties, of the various processes of self-deception, before we can
say
that we are truthful in every way.