Preparing to Die

By His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama

Just as when weaving
One reaches the end
With fine threads woven throughout ,
So is the life of humans .
Buddha

It is in the nature of cyclic existence that what has gathered will eventually disperse -- parents , children , brothers , sisters , and friends . No matter how much friends like each other , eventually they must separate . Gurus and students , parents and children , brothers and sisters , husbands and wives , and friends -- no matter who they are -- must eventually separate .

While my senior tutor , Ling Rinpochay , was healthy , it was almost impossible , unbearable , for me to think about his death . For me , he was always like a very solid rock on which I could rely . I wondered how I could survive without him . But when he suffered a stroke, after which there was a second , very serious stroke , eventually the situation allowed part of my mind to think , " Now it would be better for him to go . " Sometimes I have even thought that he deliberately took on that illness , so that when he did actually pass away , I would be ready to handle the next task -- to search for his reincarnation .

In addition to separating from all of our friends , the wealth and resources that accumulate over time -- no matter how marvelous they are -- eventually become unusable . No matter how high your rank or position , you must eventually fall . To remind myself of this , when I ascend the high platform from which I teach , just as I am sitting down , I recite to myself the words of the Diamond Cutter Sutra about impermanence :

View things compounded from causes
To be like twinkling stars , figments seen with an eye disease ,
The flickering light of a butter lamp , magical illusions ,
Dew , bubbles , dreams , lightning , and clouds .

I reflect on the fragility of caused phenomena , and then snap my fingers , the brief sound symbolizing impermanence . This is how I remind myself that I will soon be descending from the high throne .

Any living being -- no matter how long he or she lives -- must eventually die . There is no other way . Once you dwell within cyclic existence , you cannot live outside of its nature . No matter how marvelous things may be , it is built into their very nature that they and you , who take joy in them , must degenerate in the end .

Not only must you die in the end , but you do not know when the end will come . If you did , you could put off preparing for the future . Even if you show signs of living to a ripe old age , you cannot say with one hundred percent certainty that today you will not die .

You must not procrastinate . Rather , you should make preparations so that even if you did die tonight , you would have no regrets . If you develop an appreciation for the uncertainty and imminence of death , your sense of the importance of using your time wisely will get stronger and stronger . As the Tibetan scholar-yogi Tsongkhapa says :

When the difficulty of finding this human body is understood ,
there is no way to stay doing nothing .

When its great meaning is seen , passing the time
senselessly is a cause of sorrow .

When death is contemplated , preparation to go
to the next life is made .

When actions and their effects are contemplated ,
sources of non-conscientiousness are turned away .

When in this way these four roots have become firm ,
Other virtuous practices easily grow .

Thinking about death not only serves as a preparation for dying and prompts actions that benefit future lives , but it also dramatically affects your mental perspective . For instance , when people are not accustomed to this practice of being mindful about the certainty of death , then even when it is obvious that they are old and will soon pass away , their friends and family feel they cannot be realistic with them , and even feel the need to compliment them on their physical appearance .

Both parties know it is a lie . It is ridiculous !

Sometimes even patients suffering from terminal diseases such as cancer avoid using the words ' die ' or ' death ' . I find it almost impossible to speak with them about their impending death ; they resist hearing about it. But for one who cannot now face even the word ' death ' , never mind the reality of it , the actual arrival of death is likely to bring with it great discomfort and fear .

On the other hand , when I meet with a practitioner who appears to be near death , I do not hesitate to say , ' Whether you die or recover , you need preparation for both . ' It is possible for us to reflect together on the imminence of death . There is no need to hide anything , for that person is prepared to face death with no regret . A practitioner who , early on , thinks about impermanence is much more courageous and happy while dying . Reflecting on the uncertainty of the time of death develops a mind that is peaceful , disciplined , and virtuous , because it is dwelling on more than the superficial stuff of this short lifetime .

Summary Advice

  1. If you cultivate a sense of the uncertainty of the time of death , you will make better use of your time .
  2. To prevent procrastination with regard to spiritual practice , take care not to come under the influence of the illusion of permanence .
  3. Realize that no matter how wonderful a situation may be , its nature is such that it must end .
  4. Do not think that there will be time later .
  5. Be frank about facing your own death . Skillfully encourage others to be frank about their deaths . Do not deceive each other with compliments when the time of death is near . Honesty will foster courage and joy .
Advice on Dying : And Living a Better Life, Chapter 3 : Preparing to Die : pages 94 • 98, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Translated & Edited by Jeffrey Hopkins, Atria Books • 2002 • New York

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