Words and Wonder - the eyes of a child

Anthony de Mello

Every time I have a concept, it is something that I could apply to a number of individuals.  We're not talking about a concrete, particular name like Mary or John, which doesn't have a conceptual meaning.  A concept applies to any number of individuals, countless individuals.  Concepts are universal.  For instance, the word "leaf" could be applied to every single leaf on a tree; the same word applies to all those individual leaves.  Moreover, the same word applies to all the leaves on all trees, big ones, small ones, tender ones, dried ones, yellow ones, green ones, banana leaves.  So if I say to you that I saw a leaf this morning, you really don't have an idea of what I saw.

Let's see if you can understand that.  You do have an idea of what I did not see.  I did not see an animal.  I did not see a dog.  I did not see a human being.  I did not see a shoe.  So you have some kind of a vague idea of what I saw, but it isn't particularized, it isn't concrete.  "Human being" refers not to primitive man, not to civilized man, not to grownup man, not to a child, not to a male or a female, not to this particular age or another, not to this culture or the other, but to the concept.  The human being is found concrete; you never find a universal human being like your concept.  So your concept points, but it is never  entirely accurate; it misses uniqueness, concreteness.  The concept is universal.

When I give you a concept, I give you something, and yet how little I have given you.  The concept is so valuable, so useful for science.  For instance, if I say that everyone here is an animal, that would be perfectly accurate from a scientific viewpoint.  But we're something more than animals.  If I say that Mary Jane is an animal, that's true; but because I've omitted something essential about her, it's false; it does her an injustice.  When I call a person a woman, that's true; but there are lots of things in that person that don't fit into the concept "woman."  She is always this particular, concrete, unique woman, who can only be experienced, not conceptualized.  The concrete person I've got to see for myself, to experience for myself, to intuit for myself.  The individual can be intuited but cannot be conceptualized.

A person is beyond the thinking mind.  Many of you would probably be proud to be called Americans, as many Indians would probably be proud to be called Indians.  But what is "American," what is "Indian"?  It's a convention; it's not part of your nature.  All you've got is a label.  You really don't know the person.  The concept always misses or omits something extremely important, something precious that is only found in reality, which is concrete uniqueness.  The great Krishnamurti put it so well when he said, "The day you teach the child the name of the bird, the child will never see that bird again."  How true! The first time the child sees that fluffy, alive, moving object, and you say to him, "Sparrow," then tomorrowwhen the child sees another fluffy, moving object similar to it he says, "Oh, sparrows.  I've seen sparrows.  I'm bored by sparrows."

If you don't look at things through your concepts, you'll never be bored.  Every single thing is unique.  Every sparrow is unlike every other sparrow despite the similarities.  It's a great help to have similarities, so we can abstract, so that we can have a concept.  It's a great help, from the point of view of communication, education, science.  But it's also very misleading and a great hindrance to seeing this concrete individual.  If all you experience is your concept, you're not experiencing reality, because reality is concrete.  The concept is a help, to lead you to reality, but when you get there, you've got to intuit or experience it directly.

A second quality of a concept is that it is static whereas reality is in flux.  We use the same name for Niagara Falls, but that body of water is constantly changing.  You've got the word "river," but the water there is constantly flowing.  You've got one word for your "body,"  but the cells in your body are constantly being renewed.  Let's suppose, for example, there is an enormous wind outside and I want the people in my country to get an idea of what an American gale or hurricane is like.  So I capture it in a cigar box and I go back home and say, "Look at this."  Naturally, it isn't a gale anymore, is it?  Once it's captured.  Or if I want you to get the feel of what the flow of a river is like and I bring it to you in a bucket.  The moment I put into a bucket it has stopped flowing.  The moment you put things into a concept, they stop flowing; they become static, dead.  A frozen wave is not a wave.  A wave is essentially  movement, action; when you freeze it, it is not a wave.  Concepts are always frozen.  Reality flows.  Finally, if we are to believe the mystics (and it doesn't take too much of an effort to understand this, or even believe it, but no one can see it at once), reality is whole, but words and concepts fragment reality.  That is why it is so difficult to translate from one language to another, because each language cuts reality up differently.  The English word "home" is impossible to translate into French or Spanish.  "Casa" is not quite "home"; "home" has associations that are peculiar to the English language.  Every language has untranslatable words and expressions, because we're cutting reality up and adding something or subtracting something and usage keeps changing.  Reality is a whole and we cut it up to make concepts and we use words to indicate different parts.  If you had never seen an animal in your life, for example, and one day you found a tail -- just a tail -- and somebody told you, "That's a tail," would you have any idea of what it was if you had no idea what an animal was?

Ideas actually fragment the vision, intuition, or experience of reality as a whole.  This is what the mystics are perpetually telling us.  Words cannot give you reality.  They only point, they only indicate.  You use them as pointers to get to reality.  But once you get there, your concepts are useless.  A Hindu priest once had a dispute with a philosopher who claimed that the final barrier to God was the word "God," the concept of God.  The priest was quite shocked by this, but the philosopher said, "The ass that you mount and that you use to travel to a house is not the means by which you enter the house.  You use the concept to get there; then you dismount, you go beyond it."  You don't need to be a mystic to understand that reality is something that cannot be captured by words or concepts.  To know reality you have to know beyond knowing.

Do those words ring a bell?  Those of you who are familiar with The Cloud of Unknowing would recognize the expression.  Poets, painters, mystics, and the great philosophers all have intimations of its truth.  Let's suppose that one day I'm watching a tree.  Until now, every time I saw a tree, I said, "Well, it's a tree," But today when I'm looking at the tree, I don't see a tree.  At least I don't see what I'm accustomed to seeing.  I see something with the freshness of a child's vision.  I have no word for it.  I see something unique, whole, flowing, not fragmented.  And I'm in awe.  If you were to ask me, "What did you see?" what do you think I'd answer?  I have no word for it.  There is no word for reality.  Because as soon as I put a word to it, we're back into concepts again.

And if I cannot express this reality that is visible to my senses, how does one express what cannot be seen by the eye or heard by the ear?  How does one find a word for the reality of God?  Are you beginning to understand what Thomas Aquinas, Augustine, and all the rest were saying and what the Church teaches constantly when she says that God is mystery, is unintelligible to the human mind?

The great Karl Rahner, in one of his last letters, wrote to a young German drug addict who had asked him for help.  The addict had said, "You theologians talk about God, but how could this God be relevant in my life?  How could this God get me off drugs?  Rahner said to him, "I must confess to you in all honesty that for me God is and has  always been absolute mystery.  I do not understand what God is; no one can.  We have intimations, inklings; we make faltering, inadequate  attempts to put mystery into words.  But there is no word for it, no sentence for it."  And talking to a group of theologians in London, Rahner said, "The task of the theologian is to explain everything through God, and to explain God as unexplainable."  Unexplainable mystery.  One does not know, one cannot say.  One says, "Ah. . .   Ah .  .  ."

Words are pointers, they're not descriptions.  Tragically, people fall intoidolatry because they think that where God is concerned, the word is the thing.  How could you get so crazy?  Can you be crazier than that?  Even where human beings are concerned, or trees and leaves and animals, the word is not the thing.  And you would say that, where God is concerned, the word is one thing?  What are you talking about?  An internationally famous scripture scholar attended this course in San Francisco, and he said to me, "My God, after listening to you, I understand that I've been an idol worshipper all my life!"  He said this openly.  "It never struck me that I had been an idol worshipper.  My idol was not made of wood or metal; it was a mental idol."  These are the more dangerous idol worshippers.  They use a very subtle substance, the mind, to produce their God.

What I'm leading you to is the following: awareness of reality around you.  Awareness means to watch, to observe what is going on within you and around you.  "Going on" is pretty accurate: Trees, grass, flowers, animals, rock, all of reality is moving.  One observes it, one watches it.  How essential it is for the human being not just to observe himself or herself, but to watch all of reality.  Are you imprisoned by your concepts?  Do you want to break out of your prison?  Then look; observe; spend hours observing.  Watching what?  Anything.  The faces of people, the shapes of trees, a bird in flight, a pile of stones, watch the grass grow.  Get in touch with things, look at them.  Hopefully you will then break out of these rigid patterns we have all developed, out of what our thoughts and our words have imposed on us.  Hopefully we will see.  What will we see?  This thing that we choose to call reality, whatever is beyond words and concepts.  This is a spiritual exercise-connected with spirituality-connected with breaking out of your cage, out of the imprisonment of the concepts and words.

How sad if we pass through life and never see it with the eyes of a child.  This doesn't mean you should drop your concepts totally; they're very precious.  Though we begin without them, concepts have a very positive function.  Thanks to them we develop our intelligence.  We're invited, not to become children, but to become like children.  We do have to fall from a stage of innocence and be thrown out of paradise; we do have to develop an "I" and a "me" through these concepts.  But then we need to return to paradise.  We need to be redeemed again.  We need to put off the old man, the old nature, the conditioned self, and return to the state of the child but without being a child.  When we start off in life, we look at reality with wonder, but it isn't the intelligent wonder of the mystics; it's the formless wonder of the child.  Then wonder dies and is replaced by boredom, as we develop language and words and concepts.  Then hopefully, if we're lucky, we'll return to wonder again.