Religious jokes, from theosophists and buddhists

Devachan

This joke was told by Joy Mills - and though I don't usually remember jokes, I really like this one a lot (and remember it easily).

Two theosophical friends die and find themselves on a road. Curious they follow it untill they come to a fork in the road. There is a sign there. One arrow points to the left and says: devachan. The other arrow points to the right and says: lectures on devachan.

One hardly needs to guess where the friends went: to the lectures, obviously.

(for those who don't know: devachan is the theosophists version of heaven.)


I heard that once in a while children are born who end up asking their parents, "what did people do before TV, video games and stuff?"

"well little one, they actually talked to each other."


Nothing to worry about. (told by Mary Anderson)

You don't have to worry.
You are either healthy or sick,
If you are healthy, you have nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, you are either going to get better or you die.
If you get better, you have nothing to worry about.
If you die, you will either go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell you will be so busy saying hi to all your friends to have time to worry.

Helping others

Somebody asked Maharishi Yogi:
How can I help others?
He said: "Which others?"

The Bird and the Shit

Once upon a time, there was a little bird who refused to fly south for the winter. His friends tried to convince him that winter was coming and he should go, but the little bird was adamant. Finally, his friends left on their journey, but the little bird remained behind. Pretty soon the weather turned bitter cold. The little bird began to shiver. After a while, he decided he had made a mistake, so he too headed south. But he was too late and the weather descended upon him. As he flew, ice formed on his wings. He grew more and more weary until finally he fell to earth in a cow pasture, freezing and exhausted. He was convinced he was going to die. As he lay there, freezing to death, a cow came by and crapped on him. The manure warmed his body and wings. The bird realized he would live. He was so happy, he began to sing. A cat was passing by and heard the singing. The cat dug into the manure, uncovered the bird and promptly ate him.

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who shits on you is necessarily your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of the shit is necessarily your friend.

3. And, if you're happy in your own pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

Prayer

A man prayed: O God, let me hear you.
The thunder roared.
But he didn't hear.
O God, let me see you.
A rose blossomed right in front of him.
But he didn't see.
O God, let me feel you.
And he brushed away a butterfly that landed on his hand.

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.